Slither of Moonlight
by Loopstagirl
Summary: If he was going to die in the battle the next day, Gwaine was not going to spend his last night brooding.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners._

 _I think I wrote this for a Camelot_Drabble prompt ages ago and then extended it. Just found it on my computer so did a massive edit and thought I would get it up. Hope you like it._

 _Set at the end of 5x12._

* * *

The night was overcast and Gwaine stared up at the concealed moon. Only a soft glow radiated out from the cloud cover and the knight sighed. He couldn't stop thinking about what was to come. Merlin's strange behaviour and his request for Gwaine to escort him felt wrong. Merlin needed to be here. But Gwaine knew his friend and knew Merlin wouldn't have left unless it was a matter of life or death. Perhaps for them all.

It meant there was nothing to distract him though. His heart thudded uncomfortably when he considered what would happen the next day. Battles never normally worried him. He was usually in the middle of a brawl before he realised it was coming. He had never anticipated one before and it was making him feel sick.

Looking around, Gwaine saw Percival slouched against a tree, staring off with unseeing eyes. Leon was sitting near Arthur's tent, a worried frown on his face. Gwaine could make out Gwen helping Gaius. Suddenly, he knew what to do. He left his spot and headed directly towards his king's tent.

"Where do you think you're going? You know what the king said about being disturbed."

"Screw that." Gwaine looked down at Leon. The older knight stared pointedly at the bottle in his hand, but Gwaine didn't flinch. He had forgotten he had picked it up. But the seal was unbroken for once. It hadn't felt right drinking alone on a night like this.

"Gwen is helping Gaius." Gwaine continued. "Our _king_ is sitting in there on his own, probably brooding. I - for one - have no intention of going into battle – potentially our last– having spent the night sulking."

Before Leon could respond, Gwaine continued on his way. Arthur could throw him out. But Gwaine would only leave if he was sure it was truly what the king wanted. He never properly listened to Arthur and he wasn't about to start now. Not if he was going to die for the man the following day.

Catching Percival's eye, Gwaine waved him over. The large man hesitated before climbing to his feet and slowly heading their way. Gwaine saw he was in no rush and knew why: Percival was waiting for him to be thrown out first before crossing the entire distance. Rolling his eyes, Gwaine pushed back the tent flap and ducked in.

He was right. Arthur was brooding. He was sitting at his table; maps, diagrams and other pieces of parchment spread out in front of him. But the candle was nearly out and Gwaine knew he hadn't been reading for at least an hour. Instead, his fingers were steepled and Arthur was staring into thin air. He visibly jumped when Gwaine entered before trying to pull himself together.

"What did I say about being disturbed?"

"Sorry, Your Highness." Gwaine held Arthur's gaze when the king glared at him and it was Arthur who looked away first.

"You're not going to go away even if I sit here and wish it, are you?"

"Nope." Gwaine settled himself on the floor, sticking one hand back out of the tent and waving the others in. Leon might protest, but once he saw Percival enter and neither knight kicked out, he would join them without further hesitation. Sure enough, Percival ducked in and sat down and a moment later, Leon appeared. He hovered awkwardly, clearly not knowing what Arthur wanted him to do.

"Sire, I…" Leon began hesitantly, glancing between Gwaine and the king. Gwaine held Leon's gaze. He wasn't planning on moving nor was anyone going to make him.

"Don't worry about it." Arthur sat back as he spoke, pushing aside the documents and shoving the spare chair towards Leon with his foot. He glanced around the tent and Gwaine knew what he was looking for.

Or rather, _who_.

Then Arthur clearly remembered Merlin wasn't here and his gaze dropped. Gwaine had never felt sympathy for Arthur before – they were both too proud to accept those sorts of emotions. Seeing how lost he looked right now without Merlin around made something twinge inside of him.

He leant forward, precariously placing the bottle on the table. He had been right in thinking Arthur had no idea what was going on with his servant and Gwaine's trepidation only grew. What if he had escorted Merlin to his death and he didn't know it? He should have stayed, should have protected him until he knew it was safe. There had been genuine fear in Merlin's eyes when they had been attacked by those soldiers.

Gwaine had never seen the like in Merlin's expression before.

"I'm not dying without a drink," he announced, forcing the thoughts away. No one tried to reassured him that wasn't going to happen and Gwaine knew it was playing on their minds as much as his. There was a pause, then Percival produced cups from somewhere and the wine started flowing. He couldn't be blamed for lifting it from the supply train if he was drinking it with the king.

As the drinks were handed around, Arthur relaxed back into his chair. It was then Gwaine realised he wasn't looking at a king, but at another young man fearing what the next day would bring. Arthur couldn't show it to the rest of the men; he had to inspire courage and bravery. He would lead by example, heading into the fight himself.

But that didn't mean he wasn't as scared as the rest of them. Gwaine knew he had come a long way in the king's eyes if Arthur now felt he was one of the few men he could show those emotions too. Gwaine lifted his cup to take a sip, wondering how serious and reflective this night was going to make him.

"I'd like to propose a toast," Arthur announced suddenly. Gwaine just managed to stop himself from drinking in time to look up. Arthur was frowning into his cup but then managed to pull himself together and lifted his head to stare each man in the eye for a moment.

"To the future." Arthur lifted his cup and the others followed suit. But as Gwaine lifted his again, he paused.

"So would I." He expected to be shot down, but no one said anything and he sat up a little straighter. "To the past. To everything we've shared and done together over the last few years. I never wanted to be a knight, I certainly didn't want to serve another prat of a king." He paused and winked at Arthur, who rolled his eyes. "But I wouldn't change it for the world. Not now, not ever."

"I agree." Percival said, taking a long draught of his drink. Gwaine saw Leon drink out of the corner of his eye but he held Arthur's gaze. As the king lifted his cup, he gave a soft nod and Gwaine followed suit before they both drank. They might never say the words, but that didn't mean they didn't have ways of acknowledging the friendship that existed between them. Gwaine wished Merlin had been here to see it.

After that, the toasts began getting more elaborate. Gwaine was sure at one point they drank to the castle, to the horses and to the cook that had everyone – even Arthur – running scared. Helpless laughter broke out while discussing old adventures into the kitchens. But there was a weight in the air, one that none of them could ignore. This was different to their other skirmishes with Morgana and there was a morbid sense not all of them were going to be walking away from it.

But when Percival disappeared to answer nature's call and Leon fell asleep, Arthur looked sad again. He once more glanced around the tent and his expression crumbled when there was no Merlin. Gwaine shifted awkwardly, but Arthur spoke before he had the chance to.

"You will look out for him, won't you?"

"Come again?" Gwaine had heard, he just wasn't sure Arthur had intended to speak. The words had been a mumble, a far cry from Arthur's normal confident tones. The king tried to glare at him, but his eyes were unfocused.

"Merlin. He's such an idiot. If I don't make it, you'll make sure he doesn't break his neck falling down the castle steps, won't you?"

Gwaine stared. He had guessed Arthur didn't know what Merlin was doing, but he didn't realise that he had no idea his servant wasn't even in Camelot anymore. Merlin had gone in the opposite direction with a strange looking in his eye and Arthur didn't know.

Telling him the servant was in potential danger undertaking a mission Gwaine could only guess the details of was not going to help matters now. Arthur seemed to need to know that Merlin would be safe and if that was what it took to keep him focused during the battle ahead, then the least Gwaine could do was agree. Not to mention swearing now might help ease his guilt over leaving Merlin out there on his own.

"I'll keep him upright, you have my word." His voice was as soft as Arthur's. Gwaine wasn't sure what he was promising. Not really. If Arthur didn't make it, Merlin would need protecting from far more than the castle steps. Gwaine knew what grief did to a man and he knew the bond between king and servant even if the pair of them didn't see it. If Arthur died, Merlin would be shattered.

"Thank you."

Arthur had never said those words to him before. But there was such sincerity in his tone that Gwaine knew he was being serious. Not just for promising to look after Merlin, but for everything. Arthur might have been a prat, but Gwaine still stayed true to his initial thoughts; Arthur was a good man. Before he could say anything else, Arthur fell asleep where he was sitting.

Gwaine stood up, drained his cup and ducked out into the cool night air. Tilting his head back, Gwaine smiled slightly. A few wisps of cloud had scattered and it was just enough for the moon to be visible and for its soft light to bathe their camp in a silver glow.

"You too," he murmured. He was grateful to Arthur for the last few years and the man it had made him. He really wouldn't change it for the world.

Walking away from the tent, Gwaine roamed the camp with no clear direction. It surprised him how many people he exchanged a few words with, how many he passed a joke along to and how many offered him a drink. His close friends had always been the ones knighted along with him in a ruined castle. But Camelot had become his home and both the kingdom and the people had wormed into his heart. It was only now he realised that.

He knew what it meant. It meant he would fight and die for Camelot and for Arthur the next day if that is what it took to keep the kingdom safe. For the first time in a long while, Gwaine knew he would stand and fight this battle rather than moving on and hoping his troubles didn't follow him. He wondered if this was how his father had felt the night before he had been killed. Had he known it was his last? At least Gwaine knew he wasn't leaving a family - a son - behind.

But for the first time in his life, he understood his father's death. He understood what it meant to serve a king and be prepared to lay down his life.

He hoped his father would be proud.


End file.
